When I was a teenager, my mother went through two very difficult events: she went through menopause and she stopped smoking cigarettes. At the same time.
I'm gonna let that sink in for a minute.
For the better part of 2 years, I came up with about every excuse to not be at home. Not because I didn't like home, or love my parents. While I may not be the brightest bulb in the pack, I was smart enough to sense that a teenage boy who is growing hormones, and a 50-something year old woman who is losing hormones just don't mix very well.
For any of you who have done it, stopping smoking is incredibly difficult. The brain chemistry changes when you smoke. And since nicotine is addictive, your brain, and therefore your body, rebels when it doesn't get what it wants. It makes you irritable to say the least.
During menopause (no news flash here for those of you who have gone through it) the ovaries start shutting down and the body produces less estrogen, which causes, well, some uncomfortable side effects.
Chemotherapy, for most women, shuts down the ovaries, throwing the patient into menopause. And while there are some decent medications on the market to counter the drop in estrogen (and to a lesser extent progesterone), those things are a definite no-no for estrogen/progesterone positive cancer patients. We want to suppress estrogen to minimize cancer recurrence. Add to that the drug tamoxifen which has menopausal like effects and you have, well, you have, umm, you have - yuk.
Parents who bring their first child home are known to say "I wish they had a manual on how to take care of and raise this 'thing' that is now in my house". Husbands of menopausal wives wish there a similar manual on how to "care for" the menopausal spouse. Here are just of few samples of what's going on in our house right now.
- Night sweats. These are really fun. Go to bed, its 17 degrees outside, the heat in our house is on like 63 degrees. Everyone is bundled up in sweaters and blankets. Julie is 95% naked, literally throwing covers off. Then ten minutes later, "Honey, will you cover me up, I'm cold". And I'm thinking to myself, "are you crazy? Cover you up?"
- Day sweats. Not quite as fun as night sweats but still fun. In the kitchen cooking, stop to take off any clothing that isn't absolutely necessary, fanning yourself, sticking your head out the back door into the winter air...back to cooking after toweling yourself off.
- Unpredictable irritability. I'm gonna just assume everyone can visualize this one.
- Inability to sleep - including getting up 10-12 times a night. (Which just may contribute to the irritability thing.)
- Inability to process and deal with things that your brain (and heart) says you should be able to deal with, but you just can't.
- Dryness of skin, (and other female areas), aches & pains, general uncomfortableness
I have no idea what we are going to do in the summer!
The hard part for both Julie and I is the reality that you go through the challenge of learning about cancer, have multiple surgeries, endure chemotherapy, have reconstructive surgery and come out on the other side thinking that the hard part is over - it's time to get into a new season. And the reality of the new season is that it has it's own significant challenges.
All in all, Julie is doing well. Her hair is growing, her strength is returning, her heart and attitude are in a great place. We are all very excited about taking Spring Break as a family to celebrate her survival. We are going to Disneyland the last week in March and are very much looking forward to relaxing and celebrating.
In terms of ongoing care, we had an appointment yesterday with the oncology nurse practitioner for what was called the "survivor meeting". Julie got to share some of her challenges and successes, and got lots of information on resources to help her through the next phase in her recovery.
We will have regular meetings (every 3 months) with the oncologist for the next two years. She will have blood tests and physical exams to keep a close eye on her recovery and to ensure there is no recurrence of cancer. From what we have been told, the greatest chance of recurrence is in the first 2 years, so we need to keep a watchful eye.
Thank you all for your continued prayer and support. Onward and upward!
