When I was young, I always wanted to be older than I was. I was born in June. If you asked me how old I was, say in August, when I was 7, I'd say, "I'll be 8 next year". If you asked me that same question in February, I'd say, "I'm almost 8". I'm not sure why, its just how I was. Now, I wish I could suspend time at opportune moments.
Last night we went to a friend's 50th birthday party. We had a great time and I got to see many friends who I used to work with 10 years ago. It brought back the reality that life goes by very, very quickly. Phrases like "the last time I saw her was she she was 2!" or "He graduated from college yesterday?" were common. It got me reflecting on our own situation.
The past year has been exceedingly difficult. Yet, life goes on — time marches forward. Sarah had her last day of high-school on Friday. Her last day of high-school. And, yes, I can still remember holding her on my arm, walking her up and down the hallway of our tiny townhouse in Chicago, trying to get her to go to sleep. Hannah will finish middle school in a year. Yes, "perfect baby" is almost a high-schooler. Yikes.
The past year has taught us a very valuable lesson - little things matter. People are more important than things. We need to stop, slow down and embrace and enjoy all that life throws us. When you are going through the "cancer process", you have a good excuse to do all those things, and people are gracious and expect you to do so.
Now that life is getting back to normal (whatever that is), I find myself slipping back into old habits. Spending more time at work, mixing up my priorities, and not doing those things that really matter - pausing to listen...taking time to explain something...being available to provide little things (like doing the dishes, or cleaning, or killing moths)...or, just being together and enjoying each other's company.
The more things get back to normal, the more I long for having an "excuse" for slowing down and focusing on the things that matter. The reality is, I don't need an excuse. I just need to do it. My prayer is that we would all be able to do it - and it needs to start with taking time to be with the Lord - to let him refresh us, renew us, and grow us. All things flow from that...the Lord first, spouse second, kids/family third, and whatever you want after that. May the Lord equip me and give me the strength to do just that.
On the personal front, Sarah's graduation ceremony is this Wednesday...her graduation party on the 3rd of June... then we take her to TCU on the 7th of August...then, well, sigh. Hannah has her end-of-the-year dance performance on the 2nd of June - and we have lots of family coming in for it (and the graduation party). It will be the first time many people will have seen Julie since her diagnosis. We are really looking forward to it! Then, in July, we get together with my sisters and all the kids for a weekend in Estes Park.
Maybe, just maybe, life will slow down just enough for us to capture those moments that matter...Maybe.
Blessings to all!
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