Hello! Thank you to all for your kind birthday wishes. It means so much to me to hear from so many of you. I had a really good day today. Lots of energy and minimal pain. Woo Hoo! I also got some good news that I wanted to share.
The beginning of the week was rough - I went wig shopping on Monday. I asked for a Christie Brinkley look a-like wig and the sales lady thought I was nuts. Then I tried on a wig that (according to the sales lady whose name is Tracy) made me look like I was stuck in the 80's and in a band. A bad band at that. Well, fine. I personally liked it, but I put it back pretending all the while to agree with her. I mean, what do I know? So then Tracy asks me what style I have always wanted to try and encouraged me to branch out and have some fun with wigs. I then told her (again) that I wanted to look like Christie Brinkley in the 80's and that being a a band was a secret wish ( I wanted to be the drummer). So much for that conversation..... let's try this wig on, Tracy says.... and we are on our way. I found two full wigs and one half-wig to wear under hats. They look like the hair that I have now and are actually pretty ok with me. Whew! MAJOR hurdle accomplished. I try the wigs on every day and look at myself in the mirror to get used to them. I tell myself that even Christie Brinkley would wear these styles. Then I remind myself that Christie B was a teen-age idol and I should get over her. I am 45 years old now after all.
On Tuesday I had a PET scan. This is where they take me to this little room with radioactive and caution symbols everywhere they tell me to just relax. Oh, ok - sure. I had to drink this berry flavored radioactive sugar water and then drink another glass of water and tell me not to move for 50 minutes. I can't even read because they don't want my eye muscles moving. Be still and relax they tell me. You know what happens next, right? What is the first thing that happens to you (women who are my age and have been pregnant)? I have to go to the bathroom. Yikes! I mean, I really have to go. And I am afraid to move because I am now radioactive and I think that if I move I will make my whole body even more radioactive by "stirring things up" and my PET scan will be messed up and they will find false positives of cancer everywhere in my body and they will just take me out back and shoot me because I am so far gone.
So, I sit there and pray that I can wait for someone to walk by and I can quietly and without moving summon them into my room and beg for them to let me leave - just for a minute. Even if it means shooting me later. Desperate times call for desparate measures. Finally. Larry walks by. My new BFF. I beg Larry to let me go and he concedes. Finally, with 10 minutes left of my 50 minutes, I can relax. Whew! The rest of the test involves laying on a "bed" ( it was a bed like the radioactive sugar drink was actually berry flavored) and get scanned for 30 minutes. I can't move for that part either. By the time I got home I was so stressed from not moving that I slept for 3 hours. Not once during the rest of the day did I have to go to the bathroom. Figures....
Wednesday was the meeting with the oncologist and a few other people who will possbily be part of my chemo regime. I like my oncologist and respect her and am taking her advice seriously. I listen carefully, absorb about 10% of what she says, and go to the car and cry. Every time. And every time I see her she thanks me for being so positive and energetic. Ha! Does she see me in my car crying? I think not. So, this visit she calmly tells me about the side effects of chemo. Blech. That's all I can say. Just blech. I lose my hair by the third week. Good thing I have wigs ready to go.(and a cute hat too!)
Today is my birthday. I have good news. My PET scan turned out normal after all! What this means is that there are no visible signs of cancer anywhere. There could be little cells floating around, and that is the reason for chemo. Kill the little evil things before they get a chance to grow. I went to see my rock star doctor, Dr Toni Green, who explained everything to me in such a way that I understood it all. She makes everything a little less scary. She also makes me feel like I can do this. And I just like her as a person. So, that was a huge birthday gift from her. And, I know that she was hand picked for me by the Lord, so it was really a gift from Him - through her. When I got home from my appointment with her I had a nice talk with Sarah and then Hannah and we had a nice - and normal- evening. A normal evening is a good birthday present!!
Tomorrow night we are getting all dressed up and going out for a nice dinner to celebrate. I have so much to be thankful for. Now, if you will excuse me, I must be off to go and brush my hair.
lots of love to you Julie - yes indeed, you CAN do this!!! Bethany
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